Borrowing Wisdom: August 2011

Unknown: "“A leader with no...”

“A leader with no followers is just a guy out for a walk.”

—Unknown

Peter F. Drucker: "Management is doing things..."

"Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things."

—Peter F. Drucker

Andrew Carnegie: "No man will make..."

"No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all the credit for doing it."

—Andrew Carnegie

George S. Patton: "Don't tell people how..."

"Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results."

—George S. Patton

Dwight Eisenhower: "Leadership is the art..."

"Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it."

—Dwight Eisenhower

Dave Matthews: "Tell me everything will..."

"Tell me everything will be okay
If I just stay on my knees and keep praying
Believing in something
Tell me everything is all taken care of
By those qualified to take care of it all

Wake up sleepy head
I think the sun's a little brighter today
Smile and watch the icicles melt away and see the waters rising
Summer's here to stay
And that sweet summer breeze will blow forever
Go down to the shore, kick off your shoes, dive in the empty ocean

One day, do you think we'll wake up
In a world on it's way to getting better?
And if so can you tell me
How?

I have been thinking that lately the blood is increasing
The tourniquets not keeping hold
In spite of our twisting
Though we would like to believe we are
We are not in control
Though we would love to believe

Wake up sleepy head
I think the sun's a little brighter today
Smile and watch the icicles melt away and see the water rising
Summer's here to stay
And those sweet summer girls will dance forever
Go down to the shore, kick off your shoes, dive in the empty ocean"

—Dave Matthews, "Dive In" from Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King

Jonathan Safran Foer: "He was a boy..."

"He was a boy still, but no longer a boy. He was a man, but not yet a man. He was caught somewhere between his mother’s last kiss and the first kiss he would give his child."

—Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything is Illuminated

Benjamin Hoff: "You can't save time..."

"You can’t save time, you can only spend it – but you can spend it wisely or foolishly."

—Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

Jan Karon: "He hadn't threatened or..."

"He hadn’t threatened or cajoled or demanded – he’d said what had to be said and there was no turning back. He had spoken the truth in love and that would have to be okay."

—Jan Karon, Light from Heaven

Alexandra Fuller: "This is not a..."

"This is not a full circle. It’s life carrying on. It’s the next breath we all take. It’s the choice we make to get on with it."

—Alexandra Fuller, Don’t Lets Go to the Dogs Tonight

C. S. Lewis: "Once the feet are..."

"Once the feet are put right, all the rest of him will follow."

—C. S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Jan Karon: "Oh, how she despised..."

"Oh, how she despised the torment of loving like a girl instead of like… like a sophisticated woman – whatever that might be!"

—Jan Karon, A Common Life

Alan W. Watts: "When there is no..."

"When there is no vision, the people shall perish."

—Alan W. Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity

Alan W. Watts: "Almost all best ideas..."

"Almost all best ideas come when thinking has stopped."

—Alan W. Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity

Alan W. Watts: "Had we never known..."

"Had we never known joy, it would be impossible to identify sorrow."

—Alan W. Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity

Alan W. Watts: "To pursue the future..."

"To pursue the future is to pursue a constantly retreating phantom and the faster you chase it, the faster it runs."

—Alan W. Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity

Alan W. Watts: "Human desire tends to..."

"Human desire tends to be insatiable."

—Alan W. Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity

Alan W. Watts: "As the years go..."

"As the years go by, there seem to be fewer and fewer rocks to which we can hold – fewer things which we can regard as absolutely right and true and fixed for all time."

—Alan W. Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity

Alan W. Watts: "By all outward appearances..."

"By all outward appearances, our life is a spark of light between one eternal darkness and another."

—Alan W. Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity

Ann Patchett: "Most of the time..."

"Most of the time we’re loved for what we can do rather than for who we are. It’s not such a bad thing, being loved for what you can do… but the other is better."

—Ann Patchett, Bel Canto

Ann Patchett: "When you think of..."

"When you think of love you think as an American. You must think like a Russian. It is a more expansive view."

—Ann Patchett, Bel Canto

Ann Patchett: "Not everyone can be..."

"Not everyone can be the artist. There have to be those who witness the art, who love and appreciate what they have been privileged to see."

—Ann Patchett, Bel Canto

Ann Patchett: "Never had he thought..."

"Never had he thought, never once, that such a woman existed, one who stood so close to God that God’s own voice poured from her."

—Ann Patchett, Bel Canto

Gregory Maguire: "Ah, the inner eye..."

"Ah, the inner eye blinks and the spirit trembles at the dangerous cost of seeing one’s self as one is."

—Gregory Maguire, Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister

Gregory Maguire: "We're all mysteries..."

"We’re all mysteries… even to ourselves."

—Gregory Maguire, Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister

Gregory Maguire: "And a puzzle is..."

"And a puzzle is for the piecing together – especially for the young who still believe it can be done."

—Gregory Maguire, Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister

Brad Bird: "Use the whole buffalo."

"Use the whole buffalo."

—Brad Bird, Creator of The Incredibles, from a bonus feature on The Incredibles DVD.

Brad Bird: "Make it okay for...

"Make it okay for people to challenge an idea or two. The good ideas can withstand it and the weaker ideas fall away and make room for something."

—Brad Bird, Creator of The Incredibles, from a bonus feature on The Incredibles DVD.

Elizabeth Gilbert: "We just keep on..."

"We just keep on trying, again and again, no matter how ill-advised it may be, to recreate Aristophanes' two-headed, eight-limbed figure of seamless human union."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "Marriage is not prayer..."

"Marriage is not prayer. That's why you have to do it in front of others. It's a paradox, but marriage actually reconciles a lot of paradoxes: freedom with commitment, strength with subordination, wisdom with utter nincompoopery, etc. And... you have to hold your wedding guests to their end of the deal. They have to help you with your marriage; they have to support you if you falter."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "Marriage has a bonsai..."

"Marriage has a bonsai energy: It's a tree in a pot with trimmed roots and clipped limbs. Mind you, bonsai can live for centuries, and their unearthly beauty is a direct result of such constriction, but nobody would ever mistake a bonsai for a free-climbing vine."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "Marriage is what happens..."

"Marriage is what happens between the memorable."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "She sewed winter coats..."

"She sewed winter coats for her children from the leftover material of her heart's more quiet desires."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "They adjust, adapt, glide..."

"They adjust, adapt, glide, accept. They are mighty in their malleability, almost to the point of a superhuman power. I grew up watching a mother who became with every new day whatever that day required of her. She produced gills when she needed gills, grew wings when the gills became obsolete, manifested ferocious speed when speed was required, and demonstrated epic patience in other more subtle circumstances."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "I do believe that..."

"I do believe that one must at least try to understand one's mother's marriage before embarking on a marriage of one's own."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "Like most of us..."

"Like most of us, this woman contains multitudes."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "They cut up the..."

"They cut up the finest and proudest parts of themselves and gave it all away. They re-patterned what was theirs and shaped it for others. They went without. They were the last ones to eat at supper and they were the first ones to get up every morning, warming the cold kitchen for another day spent caring for everyone else. This was the only thing they knew how to do. This was their guiding verb and their defining principle in life: They Gave."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed (on the subject of mothers)

Elizabeth Gilbert: "Money brings its own..."

"Money brings its own problems, of course - but money also brings options. Money can buy child care, a separate bathroom, a vacation, the freedom from arguments over bills - all sorts of things that help stabilize a marriage."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "Leaving a blighted marriage..."

"Leaving a blighted marriage is not necessarily a moral failure, then, but can sometimes represent the opposite of quitting: the beginning of hope."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "Perhaps transcendence can be..."

"Perhaps transcendence can be found not only on solitary mountaintops or in monastic settings, but also at your own kitchen table, in the daily acceptance of your partner's most tiresome, irritating faults."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "There is hardly a...

"There is hardly a more gracious gift that we can offer somebody than to accept them fully, to love them almost despite themselves."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "I mean, once the..."

"I mean, once the initial madness of desire has passed and we are faced with each other as dimwitted mortal fools, how is it that any of us find the ability to love and forgive each other at all, much less enduringly?"

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "So it will come..."

"So it will come to pass for all of us - for all couples who stay with each other in love - that someday one of us will carry the shovel and the lantern on behalf of the other. We all share our houses with Time, who ticks along side us as we work at our daily lives, reminding us of our ultimate destination."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "After all, doesn't every..."

"After all, doesn't every romance begin in the same place - at that same intersection of affection and desire, where two strangers always meet to fall in love?"

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "Infatuation is not quite..."

"Infatuation is not quite the same thing as love; it's more like love's shady second cousin who's always borrowing money and can't hold down a job."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "It is the perogitive..."

"It is the perogitive of all humans to make ludicrous choices, to fall in love with the most unlikely of partners, and to set themselves up for the most predictable of calamities."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "The vows that we..."

"The vows that we make on our wedding day are a noble effort to belie this fragility, to convince ourselves that - truly - what God Almighty has brought together, no man can tear asunder. But unfortunately God Almighty is not the one who swears those wedding vows; man (unmighty) is, and man can always tear a sworn vow asunder."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "Maybe the only difference..."

"Maybe the only difference between first marriage and second marriage is that the second time at least you know you are gambling."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "As a friend's grandfather..."

"As a friend's grandfather once put it, 'Sometimes life is too hard to be alone, and sometimes life is too good to be alone.'"

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "Mostly what they wanted..."

"Mostly what they wanted was the liberty to define their own relationship based on their own personal interpretation of love."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "The only thing marriage..."

"The only thing marriage has ever done, historically and definitionally speaking, is to change. Marriage in the Western world changes with every century, adjusting itself constantly around new social standards and new notions of fairness. The "Silly Putty-like" malleability of the institution, in fact, is the only reason we still have the thing at all. Marriage survives, in other words, precisely because it evolves."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "In 1215, the church..."

"In 1215, the church took control of matrimony forever, laying down rigid new edicts about what would henceforth constitute legitimate marriage. Before 1215, a spoken vow between two consenting adults had always been considered contract enough in the eyes of the law."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "The big romantic white..."

"The big romantic white weddings that we now think of as 'traditional' didn't come into being until the 19th century - not until a teenaged Queen Victoria walked down the aisle in a fluffy white gown, thereby setting a fashion trend that has never gone out of style since."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "Marriage becomes hard work..."

"Marriage becomes hard work once you have poured the entirety of you life's expectation for happiness in the hands of one mere person. Keeping that going is hard work."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "She had dared to..."

"She had dared to ask for happiness, and she had dared to expect that happiness out of her marriage. You can't possibly ask for more than that."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "The problem, simply put..."

"The problem, simply put, is that we cannot choose everything simultaneously. So we live in danger of becoming paralyzed by indecision, terrified that every choice might be the wrong choice."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "There is no choice..."

"There is no choice more intensely personal, after all, than whom you choose to marry; that choice tells us, to a large extent, who you are."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "Kinship is to be..."

"Kinship is to be found within arm's reach in any direction, and many hands make light work, or at least lighter work, of the serious burdens of living."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "It has always been..."

"It had always been my experience in the past that the more I learned about something, the less it frightened me. Some fears can be vanquished, Rumpelstitltskin-like, only by uncovering their hidden, secret names."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "I'd learned enough from..."

"I'd learned enough from life's experience to understand that destiny's interventions can sometimes be read as invitation for us to address and even surmount our biggest fears."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

Elizabeth Gilbert: "There are moments in..."

"There are moments in life when the face of an ordinary man can take on a quality of near-divinity."

—Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed

The 14th Dalai Lama: "The Paradox of our..."

The Paradox Of Our Age

We have bigger houses but smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees but less sense;
more knowledge but less judgment;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicines but less healthiness.

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble in crossing the street to meet our new neighbor.

We built more computers to hold more copies than ever,
but have less real communication;
We have become long on quantity,
but short on quality.

These are times of fast foods but slow digestion;
Tall men but short characters;
Steep profits but shallow relationships.

It’s a time when there is much in the window but nothing in the room.

—The 14th Dalai Lama

Rudolf Dreikurs: "Above all, remember that..."

"Above all, remember that we are not working for perfection, but only for improvement. Watch for the little improvements, and when you find them, relax and have faith in your ability to improve further."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p56)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "When you try a..."

"When you try a new technique and it works, be glad. When you fall back into old habits, don't reproach yourself. You need to constantly reinforce your own courage, and to do so, you need the courage to be imperfect. ... Dwelling on your mistakes saps your courage. Remember, one cannot build on weakness -- only on strength."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p56)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "Parental love is best..."

"Parental love is best demonstrated through constant encouragement toward independence."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p55)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "Praise, as a means..."

"Praise, as a means of encouragement, must be used very cautiously. It can be dangerous. If the child sees praise as a reward, then lack of it becomes scorn. If he is not praised for everything he does, the child feels that he has failed. Such a child does things in the hope of winning a reward rather than doing them for the satisfaction of contribution. Therefore, praise could easily lead to discouragement since it would fortify the child's mistaken concept that unless he is praised, he has no value. It is better to use simple comments such as, 'I'm glad you can do it!' 'How nice!' 'I appreciate what you have done.' 'See, you can do it.'"

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p55)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "We can only build..."

"We can build only on strength, not on weakness."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p53)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "Our adult lives are..."

"Our adult lives are filled with pain and discomfort. They are part of life. Unless children learn to tolerate pain, bumps, bangs, and discomforts, they will live with a serious handicap. We cannot protect our children from life. Therefore, it is essential to prepare them for it. Feeling sorry for children is one of the most seriously damaging attitudes we can have. It so greatly demonstrates to them and to ourselves that we lack faith in them and their ability to cope with adversities."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p51)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "A bully is always..."

"A bully is always a child who, as a result of initial discouragement, has assumed that one is big only when he can show his power. He is discouraged; not naughty and mean. We must distinguish between the doer and the deed."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p50)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "Whenever we admonish a..."

"Whenever we admonish a child to 'be a good boy' we imply that we expect him to consider being bad and that we lack faith in his desire to be good."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p49)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "There is no pat..."

"There is no pat answer nor any definitive rule for encouraging children. It all depends upon the child's response."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p46)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "Contrary to popular opinion..."

"Contrary to popular opinion, stimulating competition between two children does not encourage. Instead, it emphasizes the hopelessness of the situation to the discouraged child and creates apprehension in the successful one that she may not be able to stay ahead. She is overambitious and sets up impossible goals for herself. Unless she is always ahead, she may consider herself a failure, too."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p44)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "The loss of milk..."

"The loss of milk is less important than the loss of confidence... A bruised knee will mend: bruised courage may last a lifetime..."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p41-42)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "Genuine happiness is not..."

"Genuine happiness is not dependent upon the attention of others but arises from within oneself as a result of self-sufficiency."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p41)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "The child who doubts..."

"The child who doubts his own ability and his own value will demonstrate it through his deficiencies. He no longer seeks to belong through usefulness, participation and contributions... To be spanked is better than to be ignored. And there is some distinction in being known as "the bad boy." Such a child has become convinced that there is no hope of gaining a place through co-operative behavior."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p39)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "Half the job of..."

"Half the job of encouraging a child lies in avoiding discouragement either by humiliation or by overprotection. Anything we do that supports a child's lack of faith in herself is discouraging."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p38-39)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "...'failure' indicates only a..."

"...'failure' indicates only a lack of skill and in no way affects the value of the person. Courage is found in one who can make a mistake a fail without feeling lowered in his self-esteem. This "courage to be imperfect" is equally needed by children and adults. Without it, discouragement is inevitable."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p38)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "When a child makes..."

"When a child makes a mistake or fails to accomplish a certain goal, we must avoid any word or action which indicates that we consider him a failure. 'Too bad that didn't work.' 'I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.' We need to separate the deed from the doer."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p38)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "To save a plate..."

"To save a plate, we break a child's confidence in his own budding ability... we thwart a child's attempts to discover his own strength and ability."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p38)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "Instead of allowing our..."

"Instead of allowing our children to test their strength in a hundred different ways, we confront them constantly with our prejudice -- our doubt in their ability -- and then justify this by setting up standards for various age levels by which children may be trusted to do things."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p37)

Rudolf Dreikurs: "In a thousand subtle..."

"In a thousand subtle ways, by the tone of voice and by action, we indicate to the child that we consider him inept, unskilled, and generally inferior."

—Rudolf Dreikurs, Children: The Challenge (p37)

John Irving: "What greater thing is..."

"What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life – to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of their last parting?"

—John Irving, A Widow for One Year

John Irving: "An old woman doesn't..."

"An old woman doesn’t always see herself as an old woman."

—John Irving, A Widow for One Year

John Irving: "It broke her heart..."

"It broke her heart to know he was a good man, but not to know if he was the right one."

—John Irving, A Widow for One Year

John Irving: "Be nice twice..."

"Be nice twice…"

—John Irving, A Widow for One Year

John Irving: "There are few things..."

"There are few things as seemingly untouched by the real world as a child asleep."

—John Irving, A Widow for One Year

John Irving: "There is no nakedness..."

"There is no nakedness that compares to what it feels like to be naked in front of someone for the first time."

—John Irving, A Widow for One Year

Laura Munson: "So what if I..."

"So what if I had to ask? Sometimes we have to ask."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "It's amazing how we..."

"It's amazing how we talk ourselves out of our dreams."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "I believe when we..."

"I believe when we act powerfully, we get treated powerfully."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "What kind of world..."

"What kind of world do we live in? I want to live in one of trust. So I try to rid my mind of that noise."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "I wonder if he..."

"I wonder if he knows that I lay this morning in the curve of his shoulder. And dreamed his dreams."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "I'm waiting for him..."

"I'm waiting for him to find himself in the middle of one word, and that word is: gratitude."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "It's easy to be..."

"It's easy to be a hothead. You just better be sure you can live with your ultimatums."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "My grandmother used to..."

"My grandmother used to say, 'There are more eyes watching over you than you'll ever know.'"

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "But how quickly the..."

"But how quickly the heart lifts and falls."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "And I breathe in..."

"And I breathe in everything I've ever believed and known and sought about God..."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "I don't judge you..."

"'I don't judge you. You don't judge me. Because we meet here.' She holds her hand to her heart. People who deal in the soul don't see fences."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "Maybe happiness is merely..."

"Maybe happiness is merely a by-product of the greater state of being free. I think it's commonly referred to as 'peace'. That's what I want. I want peace."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "I decided in that..."

"I decided in that moment to remember to let the waking hour stun me with its simplicity. To deliver me my true nature. And to receive its calm, empty self."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "If we deprive ourselves..."

"If we deprive ourselves of our greatest dreams, how are we setting ourselves up to be treated by our husbands? Our loved ones? Everyone around us? If we neglect our own souls, how are other to react to us? What are we creating?"

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "It's fascinating to me..."

"It's fascinating to me how this pattern tends to repeat itself: just when you get strong, happy, and choose to powerfully fulfill yourself, that's when the shit hits the fan. (Be careful when you change the game. The world might not want to see you so happy.)"

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "Parental love is different..."

"Parental love is different from other love. It's the model for how we, eventually, have to love ourselves."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "It all comes down..."

"It all comes down to this: love and fear. And love is greater than fear."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "...'Love your neighbor as..."

"... 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' That last part was tricky- it meant that we had to love ourselves, too."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "I liked that he..."

"I liked that he believed a woman could be a mother and a writer both. I knew I wanted to be both."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "When we're creating beauty..."

"When we're creating beauty, we align ourselves with our Designer. When we're receiving beauty, we're receiving 'the kingdom' in its best form."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "I write to shine..."

“I write to shine a light on an otherwise dim or even pitch-black corner, to provide relief for myself and others."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "How used to suffering..."

"How used to suffering are we in this life of ours? Dare I suggest that suffering has become our normal?"

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "What is the 'worse'..."

"What is the 'worse' I signed up for in 'for better or worse'?"

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "There's a vast difference..."

"There's a vast difference between being detached... and being un-attached. You wanna shoot for the latter."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "There's a big difference..."

"There's a big difference between wanting and creating."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Laura Munson: "I've always been a..."

"I've always been a seeker of wisdom. I'm not picky where it comes from."

—Laura Munson, This Is Not The Story You Think It Is

Katherine Rosman: "I looked at her..."

"I looked at her, and I thought - as a parent might think when looking at her sad or feverish child- I would do anything, anything at all, to bring her comfort."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "...after a death, every..."

"... after a death, every object can take on heartbreaking meaning."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "On her behalf, I..."

"On her behalf, I feel the crush of all that she wanted but didn't have time to experience."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "...I believe that the..."

"... I believe that the universe has a way of taking you where you need to go..."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "One day, he just..."

"One day, he just realized he had a choice [his wife told me]. He could either feel entitled - that he shouldn't have lost a child, or he could take the road of gratitude - that he should be grateful that he had this child for even a day. That choice between entitlement and gratitude made all the difference for him."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "Until you've gone through..."

"Until you've gone through it, you can't realize that when your parent dies, part of you goes away."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "Miracles result from a...

"Miracles result from a heap of toil mixed with a lot of good luck."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "When I close my..."

"When I close my eyes, I see Mom in her natural state. She is dancing and laughing. Then I place my hand over my own heart and I feel her."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "I guess that's the..."

"I guess that's the definition of faith: believing in something not because you can absolutely prove its truth but because it gives you comfort."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "At certain points in..."

"At certain points in a woman's life, there is something about vanity that reflects upon dignity, strength, and hope."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "It occurred to me..."

"It occurred to me that sometimes bittersweetness might be as much as a person reasonably can hope for."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "There is a spiritual..."

"There is a spiritual rhythm created by women in a kitchen on a holiday..."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "I had become less..."

"I had become less cynical and more like the sort of person who believes that if you are open to finding meaning - which is almost always an exercise in faith and almost never an exercise in certainty - you might find meaning."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "It's a bummer that..."

"It's a bummer that so often when we learn a lesson, it's too late to put it to good use."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "Children, no matter the..."

"Children, no matter the age, are meant to be mortified by their parents. It's part of the natural order."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "As a daughter, I..."

"As a daughter, I could consider my mom as it hadn't occurred to me to do before - as someone who could be defined by more than motherhood."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "...I didn't know what..."

"... I didn't know what to do with my absence of worry - worry that had sucked up so much of my life for so long."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "But when I'm lonesome..."

"But when I'm lonesome and depressed and feeling alone, I will conjure you, my brave mama."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "To open heart: Ignore..."

"To open heart: Ignore what is irrelevant to who you are. Choose beliefs that align with how you want to feel and what you want to create."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "Sometimes being different is..."

"Sometimes being different is what sisterhood is about, for better or worse..."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "There can't be a..."

"There can't be a prescribed etiquette for the day the suffering ends for someone you love. It's a horrible day, and it's filled with joy."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Katherine Rosman: "As the pious have..."

"As the pious have known for centuries, rituals amid uncertainty can bring unexpected comfort."

—Katherine Rosman, If You Knew Suzy

Nujood Ali: "Marriage was invented to..."

"Marriage was invented to make girls miserable. I will never get married again, not ever again."

—Nujood Ali, with Delphine Minoui, I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced

Nujood Ali: "Without saying a word..."

"Without saying a word, we both know that at this moment we are insanely happy."

—Nujood Ali, with Delphine Minoui, I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced

Nujood Ali: "Compared to dreams, reality..."

"Compared to dreams, reality can be truly cruel. But it can also come up with beautiful surprises."

—Nujood Ali, with Delphine Minoui, I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced

Nujood Ali: "She, on whom life..."

"She, on whom life had not smiled, had always shown compassion for those even less well off than she was."

—Nujood Ali, with Delphine Minoui, I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced

Nujood Ali: "Life is really weird..."

"Life is really weird - it's not just bad people who spread misery, even pretty things can be hurtful. So hard to understand."

—Nujood Ali, with Delphine Minoui, I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced

Nujood Ali: "My life was taking..."

"My life was taking a new turn in this world of grown-ups, where dreams no longer had a place, faces became masks, and no one seemed to care about me."

—Nujood Ali, with Delphine Minoui, I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced

Nujood Ali: "I kept hearing my..."

"I kept hearing my father's words in my mind: one less mouth. So that's all I was to him, a burden..."

—Nujood Ali, with Delphine Minoui, I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced

Nujood Ali: "Omma gave birth to..."

"Omma gave birth to me the way she delivered all her children: at home, lying on a woven mat, sweating, suffering terribly, and begging God to protect her newborn."

—Nujood Ali, with Delphine Minoui, I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced

Aaron Sorkin: "There is a time..."

"There is a time in the history of things that work, when they didn't work."

—Aaron Sorkin, John Spencer as Leo McGarry, The West Wing

Lev Grossman: "It seemed to me..."

"'It seemed to me that if we were going to be elevating freedom to the defining principle of what we're about as a culture and a nation, we ought to take a careful look at what freedom in practice brings.' The weird thing about the freedom of Freedom is that what it doesn't bring is happiness..."

—Lev Grossman, from Jonathan Franzen. The Wide Shot, Time Magazine

Lev Grossman: "One of the ways..."

"One of the ways of surrendering freedom is to actually have convictions and a way of further surrendering freedom is to spend quite a bit of time acting on those convictions... There is something beyond freedom that people need: work, love, belief in something, commitment to something. Freedom is not enough. It's necessary, but not sufficient. It's what you do with freedom—what you give it up for—that matters."

—Lev Grossman, from Jonathan Franzen. The Wide Shot, Time Magazine

Lev Grossman: "There were a couple..."

"There were a couple of years when I could enjoy blowing off a workday and going bird-watching, followed by some years in which I came to realize that because my purpose on earth seems to be to write novels, I am actually freer when I'm chained to a project: freer from guilt anxiety, boredom, anger, purposelessness."

—Lev Grossman, from Jonathan Franzen. The Wide Shot, Time Magazine

Audrey Niffenegger: "Until then, live, fully..."

"Until then, live, fully, present in the world, which is so beautiful."

—Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler's Wife

Audrey Niffenegger: "We beg to be..."

"We beg to be more perfect in our love and patience with each other."

—Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler's Wife

Audrey Niffenegger: "I want God but..."

"I want God... but I don't just want to believe it, I want it to be true."

—Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler's Wife

Audrey Niffenegger: "Chaos is more freedom..."

"Chaos is more freedom; in fact, total freedom. But no meaning."

—Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler's Wife

Aaron Sorkin: "I have no reason..."

Danny: I have no reason to trust you and every reason not to.
Jordan: Why?
Danny: You work in television.

—Aaron Sorkin, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, "Pilot"

Aaron Sorkin: "If you combine the..."

"If you combine the populations of Great Britain, France, Germany, Japan, Switzerland, Sweden, Denmark and Australia, you'll get a population roughly the size of the United States. We had 32,000 gun deaths last year. They had 112. Do you think it's because Americans are more homicidal by nature? Or do you think it's because those guys have gun control laws?"

—Aaron Sorkin, Richard Schiff as Toby Ziegler, The West Wing

Aaron Sorkin: "Decisions are made by..."

"Decisions are made by those who show up."

—Aaron Sorkin, Allison Janney as C.J. Cregg, The West Wing

Aaron Sorkin: "Cause it's next. Cause..."

"'Cause it's next. 'Cause we came out of the cave and we looked over the hill and we saw fire. And we crossed the ocean and we pioneered the West and we took to the sky. The history of man is hung on a timeline of exploration and this is what's next."

—Aaron Sorkin, Rob Lowe as Sam Seaborn, The West Wing

Aaron Sorkin: "This guy's walking down..."

"This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out. A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, 'Hey you. Can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, 'Father, I'm down in this hole can you help me out?' The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. "Then a friend walks by, 'Hey, Joe, it's me can you help me out?' And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.' The friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out.'"

—Aaron Sorkin, John Spencer as Leo McGarry, The West Wing

Chris Landers: "We have this agenda..."

"We have this agenda that we all agree on and we all coordinate and act, but all act independently toward it, without any want for recognition. We just want to get something that we feel is important done..."

—Chris Landers, Baltimore City Paper, April 2, 2008

Unknown: "Anonymous is the first..."

"[Anonymous is] the first Internet-based superconsciousness. Anonymous is a group, in the sense that a flock of birds is a group. How do you know they're a group? Because they're traveling in the same direction. At any given moment, more birds could join, leave, peel off in another direction entirely."

—Chris Landers. Baltimore City Paper, April 2, 2008

Peter Dale Scott: "Disinformation, in order to..."

"Disinformation, in order to be effective, must be 90% accurate."

—Peter Dale Scott

Ross Donaldson: "The mountain top is..."

"The mountain top is amazing, but I learn so much more in the valley."

—Ross Donaldson (a friend)

John Osborne: "Trouble is you get..."

"Trouble is you get used to people. Even their trivialities become indispensable to you. Indispensable, and a little mysterious."

—John Osborne, Look Back in Anger, Character of "Jimmy"

Unknown: "All life is art..."

"All life is trying to be art.
And all art is trying to be music."

—Unknown

Albert Einstein: "Common sense is the..."

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."

—Albert Einstein

Kurt Vonnegut: "We are what we..."

"We are what we pretend to be. So we must be careful what we pretend to be."

—Kurt Vonnegut

Matthew Cody: "Others might have dismissed..."

"Others might have dismissed what they saw as a hallucination, but I... well, I've always believed in the impossible."

—Matthew Cody, Powerless, (p183)

Matthew Cody: "It's not like I..."

"'It's not like I never get angry,' Eric said. 'Believe me, I do. Sometimes I get so angry, I scare myself. But, you know, that's what being a hero is all about, right? Overcoming your fears and failures to help other people.'"

—Matthew Cody, Powerless (p172)

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